


Maximum Capacity

by midnightstreet



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anal Sex, Birthday Sex, Blow Jobs, Crying, M/M, Objectification, Overstimulation, Panties, Patrick Brewer is a Cockslut, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:42:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29056896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightstreet/pseuds/midnightstreet
Summary: David has a fun birthday gift to play with.The birthday gift? Has an objection or two.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 19
Kudos: 141





	Maximum Capacity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [schittyfic (sixtysevenlmpala)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixtysevenlmpala/gifts).



> A little jam for my biggest fan on ~~the day after~~ her birthday. I hope I reached an acceptable level of filth, cos you deserve it ;)
> 
> Thanks to EggplantSalad for the support on this one. Unbeta'd; all mistakes are mine.

“David, this is ridiculous. Where am I even supposed to put my balls in these things?” Patrick called out from the bathroom. 

“They just kind of...sit there!” David yelled back. “I know yours are bigger than mine — and you know I love that, I really, _really_ do…”

There was a long moment of silence. In the bathroom, Patrick waited impatiently, nudging his sac from side to side inside a garment clearly not meant to accommodate it. “Baby? Did you get distracted thinking about my balls?”

He blew out a breath, looked up at the ceiling, and counted to ten. “David?”

“I can’t be blamed for where my mind wanders!” David called back. “Okay, just...just stuff everything in. Honestly I’ll probably enjoy it even more if your pretty cock is hanging out.”

Patrick huffed. Giving things one final shuffle, he stepped out of the bathroom.

David’s face did...interesting things.

“Oh. Okay. Umm. _Wow._ ”

“I look ridiculous.”

“Oh honey. I can’t even begin to tell you how not-ridiculous you look. Spin around, let me see.”

While he’d been distracted trying to stuff his genitals into the itty-bitty navy blue panties David had picked out for Patrick to wear as a special treat for David’s birthday, Patrick could now see in the full-length mirror that he’d totally neglected the other part of the equation: his ridiculous ass.

Just about the entire thing was hanging out. What had started as something that was possibly a distant cousin of briefs had been clearly unable to manage what Patrick had going on back there. What he was left with was practically a thong. He gave a little wiggle and grimaced. “Oh sweet Jesus. David, this is—”

Looking with a certain horror at the mirror over his shoulder, Patrick didn’t notice David approach until lips were on his neck and a hand was on his cock (which had apparently staged a daring escape while Patrick was otherwise occupied). 

“Hey, my birthday, _my_ husband to objectify. And holy fuck, this is working for me on so many levels. But.” David stepped back, holding Patrick’s shoulders at arm’s length. “If you’re really not comfortable, this stops now and I’ll just give you the rimming of your life, k? No lingerie necessary.” He pecked Patrick on the temple.

“That said,” he whispered, “you do look _really_ hot in your lil panties, and I would very much like to do bad things to you while you wear them.”

Well, shit. How could Patrick say no to that?

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Like...” David slid the crotch of the panties to the side, gently easing his balls out of the leg hole. Which, ouch, that was very awkward for Patrick’s dick, but he was starting to get into this. “I believe we were having an earlier discussion about these poor things. They tried so hard, I know.” David dropped to his knees, and Patrick braced himself against the mirror mounted on the closet door. “I think they deserve a reward.”

Patrick couldn’t see much beyond David’s coiffed hair and the sparkle of his gold rings, but it didn’t matter, because he could _feel_ — oh _wow_ could he feel — David’s very wet tongue, first giving gentle licks interspersed with tiny kisses, then getting sloppy before finally taking as much as he could into his mouth. “Oh baby, that feels so goo— oww! Fuck.”

David scrambled back. “What? Did I hurt you?” He rubbed his palm up and down Patrick’s outer thigh in a soothing gesture.

“Just...things are getting a little strangled. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have a bald patch.”

David looked back down to see what was happening. “Oh. Sorry, honey; got a little carried away there. Here, let’s just...okay, that’s better.”

With the waistband tucked snugly under Patrick’s balls, all of his junk was now out in the open. It made his wedgie even worse, but god, it was nice to have everything hanging correctly.

“Now, where was I? Oh, look at all of this. All for me, right? Wrapped up so nicely, and I got to open my present. How lucky am I, having such a lovely gift to play with?” David mouthed up Patrick’s inner thigh, nipping at the soft skin, stopping to nose at at the scrunched-up panties, then carefully lifting Patrick’s semi to give one more kiss to his sac. 

“Hmm, what can we do with this thing?” David asked no one, trailing a thumb along the vein on the underside of his cock. “Looks like a fun toy.” Without warning, he dipped down, taking just the head in his mouth. Patrick jolted back, elbow slamming _hard_ into the closet door.

“Oh my god, okay, let’s move this to the bed; I’m really not interested in driving you to the hospital on my birthday.”

Patrick waddled over awkwardly. David followed close behind, smacking the mostly-bare ass on view to him as they went. Patrick squeaked, falling forward and getting a mouthful of duvet.

“ _Pleh_. Hey, handle with care, please.”

“Sorry sweetheart. Now. Where were we? Oh, wait, I have another fun little something.” 

David did his full-body shimmy, the one he only broke out when he was _really_ excited about something. Patrick couldn’t wait to see what came next.

What came next, it turned out, was a cock ring, and his husband getting him hard for it. It was the kind of dick-sucking escapade David usually only engaged in while tipsy, doing anything and everything he wanted, indulging himself and his own wants rather than trying to make Patrick come. It was. Well. Honestly kind of awesome: Patrick got to just lie back and be worshiped; be used. 

With a last lick to the head, David slid the cock ring on while the panties tried to ride back up. They were a pain in the ass — literally — but David was having fun, so Patrick watched him with fond amusement instead of complaining.

Task finally accomplished (without hurting Patrick; he’d been due for a win), David got him up on hands and knees. The waistband of the panties popped back up, and the fabric in the back dug into his crack until it could go no further. All he could think was, _Stay strong, Brewer; you’re about to get the dicking-down of your life._

(Then he could burn these things in the fireplace and buy some new ones actually designed for people with penises.)

Patrick moaned with fucking _glorious_ relief as David finally pulled the back of the panties down, then shouted when something wet connected with his hole. God, he was so fucking ready to get stretched out and made filthy by that talented tongue.

And filthy he got, but eventually it wasn’t enough. “God, David, more, please.” Patrick moaned and wiggled back, the air chilly where his sloppy wet hole was exposed.

A bottle of lube squelched somewhere behind him, and Patrick was rewarded with a dripping finger in his hole, then two. By the third, he was in love with these stupid fucking panties: with every hump into the air, his cock was sliding along the lace, giving him friction that made his eyes roll back in his head.

“Well those are some lovely noises, Mr. Brewer. Are you ready for something nice in your hole? You definitely deserve a reward; you’ve been such a good present.”

And fuck, there was that delicious slide, David’s big cock filling him so perfectly he could cry. Actually, he was getting so overstimulated that he _might_ cry — the panties had been rubbing away while David prepped and teased him; if he were actually able to look down right now, he was sure he’d be swollen almost purple, the fabric soaked.

He might actually miss these things when they were gone.

“God, Patrick, can I—?”

“Yeah, anything you want. Anything; anything. Use me.”

And boy did David not need to be told twice. All Patrick could do was hang on for the ride.

David also had an idea about hanging on: he got one hand on either side of the panties, where the waistband stretched just below Patrick’s ass, and yanked up, making his own handles to ride Patrick into the bed. 

There would probably be bruises. Those would be fun to press on tomorrow.

Patrick transferred his weight so he could hold himself up with one arm. David’s...creative...use of the panties had caused his dick to slide away from the lace that was driving him to blissful insanity, and he was too far gone to even consider letting that feeling go.

_Sorry, later!Patrick; hope you’ve got some lotion._

Eventually David gave up his improvised handholds, pushing Patrick’s face down and grabbing him by the shoulders for leverage. “Fuck, honey, oh fuck. Can I come in you? God I want to come inside you so bad.”

“Anything for the birthday boy.”

And wow were those the right words: David’s whole body shook as he clung to Patrick’s back, humping erratically as Patrick was flooded with heat.

“David. David your...your present needs to come. Please?”

Patrick was grinding desperately, lace on his cock now pressing in hard with the bed supporting his hips. He was sweating and twitching and occasionally grunting out some very choice words, but the cock ring was keeping him from coming, and there was no way he could get it off with David’s weight on his back.

He really was crying now. He should have been making an effort to get away from the torture, but instead he leaned into it (literally), continuing to hump the bed even as his tears soaked into the duvet below him. Fuck, he wished he could feel that lacy fabric against his swollen nipples.

“David, it hurts. I...oh my god, I can’t, I can’t. You need to—. _Please_.”

He was so pathetic, he hadn’t stopped rutting the entire time he’d been begging for it to end.

Before he knew what was happening, David was flipping him over, jacking him one last time over the fabric — the bastard — then ripping it off, freeing him from the cock ring and deep throating him in a move that would be impressive if Patrick had a single brain cell left to spare.

Those had probably wound up down David’s throat along with pulse after pulse of his come. Patrick was honestly surprised he hadn’t blacked out.

He was trying to regain the use of his limbs when a very sweaty David rolled over onto him, presenting a gleaming silver...oh, scissors. Thank _fuck_ , the cavalry had arrived.

_Snip. Snip._

Sweet freedom. David flung the destroyed panties across the room, nuzzling up to Patrick and pressing a kiss to his neck. “Best. Present. Ever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Patrick's [panties](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4aea906b0f0c92f454e5569e28d06a4c/d6bfaf369abff4f8-9d/s2048x3072/3269791873b45c507781a82f78c80688ade9308e.png).
> 
> I am never typing the word 'panties' again after today.


End file.
